First and foremost,i will not judge whoever is sexually active outside wedlock although God specifically asked us to leave that wonderful and mysterious act of the soul till we are joined as man and wife.However,a very large percent of our relationships are destroyed or crumbles due to the little things we take for granted.I will be advising the married women and you can regard this as a LETTER TO THE MARRIED WOMEN FROM A SINGLE LADY. We the single ladies can also learn from this because we definitely do not want to have to share or loose our husband to one toothpick girl due to our negligence or ignorance. Men, if you agree with me,please say something and if you don't,i stand to be corrected since you know more about yourself than we do. We are just trying to learn and please your royal highness
Have you really sat down
to think about what exactly you are doing when you are having an intercourse
with your husband whether its sex you are having or it is love you are making?
If you have not, please do it now. Let me give you a simple definition of the
two terms. “Sex” is the regular and natural act of having an intercourse while
“lovemaking” is the act of commuting on a deep, personal level with your
husband through intercourse. The aftermath of sex lasts for a period while the
aftermath of lovemaking lingers in your mind, making you crave for more and
look forward to the next sensual experience. Sex tends to be fun only when you
both are in the mood while lovemaking brings the mood to you and you get
engulfed in it .Sex is had by every sexually active person but love is made by
rare and few people.
This major differences between sex and lovemaking are one’s
mentality, level of care, commitment, understanding and the motive/intention to
communicate with your husband in a way no one else can.This might sound weird
or strange to you but the act of intercourse Is not all about making babies or
satisfying our urge. Its about reaching out to your partner and enveloping
yourselves in your private world where there are no secrets and you take
yourselves as you are. You have the rare chance of seeing deep into each
other’s soul and knowing that your partner is the only person who can
understand you on that level and make you feel safe and loved.
Some people think that when they
have good sex, they have made love while bad sex is just as it is…..”Sex”. The
most unique and interesting thing about making love is that there is never a
bad sex moment, no matter the mood you are in. You can make love when you are
happy, sad, angry tensed, confused, in short, every mood you find yourself. I
am sure you are wondering how possible it is that you can make love when you
are in a bad mood, that is where your level of care, commitment and ability to
communicate is highly tested. Your partner should be able to know what mood you
are in without you saying it but when you make love with him. This also
includes reaching out and baring your soul to each other therefore speaking a
special language that only the both of you understand.
It has been scientifically and
objectively proven that you tend to feel relieved and better no matter how bad
you feel after a sexual release also known or referred to as “cum”. These are
ways you can create a love making, exciting, sensual and strong relationship
with your husband.
-The use and
practice of foreplay. Do not expect your man to figure out what gets you going
all by himself, he is not psychic. Tell him where you desired to be touched,
also ask him what he wants you to do to him and do it. Remember, you are your
husband’s whore and no other woman should be able to give it to him better than
you.
-Talk about
your sex life and create the atmosphere even before you get down. This might be
through text messages, calls, a little note slipped into his pocket with a
lipstick smear on it etc. Talk about your sexual fantasies and you should try fulfilling
them together no matter how crazy or nasty it seems as far as its not harmful
to your health or a risk to your lives.
-Its high
time you stop restricting yourself to one style which is the oldest style
commonly referred to as the “missionary style” also known as the “mummy and
daddy style”. After a while, this style tends to get boring, restrictive and
kills the sexual excitement faster. Eating a particular meal all the time gets
tiring and boring, its nicer and more hygienic when you eat different healthy
meals. Research on and learn new styles together, there is no harm in creating
and customizing your own styles.
-Do not
restrict yourselves to the bedroom alone. Of what use is the couch, bathroom,
floor, kitchen, table, car, pool, office (if possible)? They are all great
spots to try out.
-Develop the
habit of having “quickies” aside from the regular long sex. Its exciting and
the memory tends to linger on your mind hereby creating a sort of elation and
craving for the next great moment.
-Do not sleep
with your husband only when you are in the mood and do not look at making love
as a duty but a means of communicating and bonding with him. If he is the one
who wants it and you are in a bad mood, let him have his way and please program
your body to be responsive to his touch irrespective of your mood.
-Drop all
your guards and let the sensations flow. Never worry about your “ringtone” or
reaction towards an immeasurable pleasure that hits you at any time. Free your
mind, don’t be shy, he is your husband.
-Dress sexy
by wearing flimsy and seductive cloths for him in the house. You can be all
decent and reserved outside but not
inside. Men tend to be controlled by what they see.
Love making is like a unique
meal, eaten, savored and appreciated as it tickles the brain and pleasures the
body. It leaves a memory and tingling sensation that overcomes your being when
you think of how you wiped your plate clean, hereby making you want more
therefore making you look forward to another great and sensual experience.
Ponder on my words and try them. Till our next edition, have fun trying.
XOXO
JAYMAIMAH
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