Dear woman
Has it really occurred to you that
your husband’s family is now yours? I am sure it has, you have just decided not
to accept it. By virtue of marriage, you are one with your husband and so, his
family is now yours. If you are married to a family that loves and respects you
hereby treating you as their own, congratulations. If you happen to be on the
other side, “don’t give up. You are exactly what that family needs to get
better”Ladies,you also need to learn these things even before you get married so as to avoid some unnecessary hassles.
There are some vital virtues that you
must instill in yourself and live with for the rest of your life in other to
enjoy being with your new family. Do not make the mistake of thinking or
believing that marriage cuts you off from your first family. It only gives you
more and adds to your blessings. Love and respect them like you do to yours.
The following virtues will be illustrated and better explained:
LOVE: This knows no bounds and no matter
what they do to you or how they make you feel, love them all the same. Lets be
honest and face it, some people are hard to love. Loving them does not make you
a fool to be tripped on, it only means that you are a mature, tolerant person
with a good and big heart who is smart enough to know that you must live long
to be the mother to your children and the woman your husband wakes up to see
beside him all his life. Its not easy loving the harsh in laws but all the same,
learn to overlook their atrocities and forgive them. When the memories of how
bad you are being treated comes up, suppress them and leave the tense, hateful
atmosphere behind then move on living life and treating them like nothing bad
ever happened between you. Before you know it, you wont be bothered by their
attitude anymore.
FORGIVENESS: It’s hard to forgive and even harder
to forget but guess what, there is one perfect reason that helps you to
forgive, “you don’t want to die young”. Research has confirmed that people who
hold grudges, have a high risk of having “high blood pressure, hypertension, unrequited
anxiety over little irrelevant things”. The best way to understand this ailment
is by knowing someone who is suffering from them, talk to this person and find
out what they are going through then you will agree with me that no one Is
worth making you fall sick. Have you ever realized that when you see someone
you have not forgiven, your heart beats fast and you get uncomfortable. Some of
you even give them the chance of occupying your mind and head hereby resulting
into a terrible headache. My dear, nobody is worth your pain most especially
when its for a bad reason or cause.
RESPECT: This has no age limitation. You are
to respect everyone ranging from the oldest to the youngest person in that
family. This includes friends. Your lack of respect will not help matters and
you will never be respected or honored. Regard the adults and old ones in the
best manner possible; also treat the young ones with tolerance. They will
surely and definitely anger you on occasions. If you are a temperamental and
outspoken person, walk away and try to cool off somewhere else. If you are a
cool headed and tolerant person, try to relax. When you feel less angered and
in a good/right frame of mind, call the person, talk to the person and bare
your mind in a calm and non judgmental manner. No matter the response, your
conscience gets free and you can live a grudge free life. Please note that”it
is bad to be on the old ones’ bad record and it is worse to be on the young
ones’ black book.
These virtues are not easy to instill in ourselves. It’s easier said
than done but you can be rest assured that when it is successfully instilled,
you will be referenced by your new family whether they like it or not. Till our
next edition, please heed my advice. XOXO
JAYMAIMAH
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