Am certain this topic seems more serious than interesting. However, I would love to have you see it from an inspiring angle. To the glory of God, I have been through thick and thin for a lady my young age. If you know a tenth of my story, you would understand why I said I am a work in progress and God has a great interest in me, hence I can't afford to let him down.
Lets spend more time looking at the rationale behind this statement:
In as much as I would not mind devulging and spitting out a fraction of my story so as to throw a pity party, I would also like you to know that no matter how bad or deep my scar runs, there are people out there who experienced and are still experiencing worse. I just learnt yesterday from someone who I know for a fact has seen almost all in this life that there is a place in a country where the city is regarded as " The city of the dead". The whole settlement is built on a cemetry where a great multitude of people where buried during the world war 2. He said that every slab of a dead body buried, has a tent over it where a family resides. The occupants of this settlement, move out of the cemetry once in a year when a memorial service is held in honor of the dead soldiers. After the service, they move back in and continue living life and sleeping on a grave like its a normal and regular piece of Land.
I also learnt from another that during the civil Biafra war that happened in Nigeria around 1967, people resolved into eating lizards for protein.
A story was published about a woman who sold her child and by the time She was given an audience to speak, She told them that her reason for selling her son was with the hope that wherever He was going, there would be food for him to eat instead of him having to starve while staying with her. Also, whatever money She gets from the sale of her child, will feed her for a while, hence making it a win win situation.
Some people think emotional trauma resulting from a failed relationship is worse. Some feel its the psychological effect of rejection by a loved one that hurts more. Some believe poverty is the leader of it all. Some people who experience one of these things, are driven to do terrible things either to another person or to themselves. I have not only experienced the three, I have experienced more and guess what? I am still standing and its only been God.
Initially, anytime I found myself in any of this phase of my life, I thought it was God neglecting me. Now when I see people going through lesser things and they feel they have gotten to their limit, I share my story and encourage them. Then it hit me like a splash of cold water on my face, God made me go through those things not because He was bored and he needed a project to amuse himself with, He was building me up to become a living testimony and a source of inspiration to people around me.
I remember when my aunt told me that when I was a baby, She used to buy me a carton of cerelac for fifteen naira from her business proceeds. And when it finished, She would soak garri with water and milk till it was so soft and mushy, then She would put it in my feeding bottle, shake it well and give it to me. Being the bubbly happy, hungry and sweetly naive baby that I was, I would suckle joyously and finish my garri like I was taking the most expensive and delicious baby food ever made. No wonder I have this unbreakable love for garri now. We fight and part ways for a while but our bond is so strong that we always find our way back to eachother. God bless the our ancestors for garri, it has indeed saved lives.
When you feel sad, lonely, devastated, heartbroken, confused, hurt, betrayed, furious, hopeless etc, Remember that there is someone out there who is living a worse life and would kill to be in your position. The fact that you are alive is a living proof that God still has you in mind and He has given you another chance at making things right with him and the world around you. Everyone has something peculiar and great deposited in us. Our manner of utilising it is what determines if it will either be for a good cause or the opposite.
Get up...... the time for loathing, depression, hurting, and disorientation on how to handle your situation is over. Tell yourself that you are a work in progress and God has a great plan for you. Work towards being better and remember that all great men and women have stories to tell. Whatever is happening to you at the moment is a process of your very inspiring and interesting script been written.
ponder on this and till our next article.......
XOXO
Jaymaimah
Monday 12 May 2014
Thursday 20 March 2014
Playing the role of a best friend but hoping to end up as more than a friend.
Its amazing how I find it comfortable to share my story on a blog, rather than to a person. Maybe its because I know that the likelihood of anyone reading my blog is slim. Afterall, We have the popular bloggers who constantly feed us with either gossips or gist worthy news. I hail them, I honestly don't have the time and gossip is not my calling. I am a lawyer by profession, alongside having my events outlet and running my non governmental organisation. I have justice on my mind and events to plan.
There is this guy whom I walked up to some weeks back. I liked what I saw and He honesty looked like my first boyfriend. I went to him, asked for his name and told him He looked familiar then I complimented his dimples. After all these, I walked away. By the way, it all happened in less than a minute. The truth is, I felt a strong pull, which can also be regarded as a harmless but dominating force to this guy. I didnt know what it meant but being the spontaneous person that I am, I acted without giving it a deep thought. (Most sanguine individuals tend to act now and think later, this works in our favor at times and we get hurt at other times.)
The interesting thing is that, after I walked away, He walked up to me and asked for my name and before you could say Jack Robinson, We had started talking. He is one of those guys that are so introverted and enjoy being confined to their safe harbor, so that means I did most of the talking. I later found out that He was used to having ladies ask him out and so this had made him arrogant and dismissive in a subtle and indirect way.
In as much as I would love to wish I never walked up to him, I am happy I did. Although I have always had to suffer the constant jab and undertone of him reminding me that we are just friends and nothing more. The ironic twist of it is that He confessed to being really attracted to me and He had even considered the notion of being romantically involved with me. However, He had prayed about it and according to him, the answer from God was negative. In addition to his introverted lifestyle, He is also a spirikoko(highly religious person).
Funny enough, we always annoy each other at every turn and I get to suffer more from his snide comments but somehow, We never get to fight and stay away for up to 24 hours. Initially, I also entertained the thought of being his woman but I was not going to push for it, I was going to enjoy whatever we had while it lasted. I had also gotten fed up of the reminder that I am just a friend and nothing more that the thought of going further than being a friend had gotten repulsive.
I gave him a piece of my mind when I had gotten to my limit of his jabs and that was when I found out his supposed battle between his feelings and spirituality. If not that I know myself in God, I would have almost thought I was not good enough and God had saved him from having a terrible wife. I had always been practical about the whole thing and was enjoying our friendship while it lasted and I learnt that its better to know where you stand and don't try to go further than that, most especially when the other party does not intend to take your relationship a nudge further.
I have decided to reduce every form of closeness with him so as to help him get over whatever dilema he put himself in. Coupled with the fact that our closeness is chasing other candidates away from us and being who I am, I want to have my own man not just a best friend. Its been just a few weeks but its been emotionally demanding so please,if you meet someone and you want to go a step further than being friends, Please talk about it ASAP. Stop the drama and the facade of non challance. It only worsens things.
I think I have said enough for now. He who has ears and a practical mind, let him hear and reason with a clear head, not get trapped in a web of emotions and confusion. Till our next chat, have a splendid life. Lest I forget, Happy birthday to my cousin, friend and everyone born today!!!!
xoxo
Jemima
There is this guy whom I walked up to some weeks back. I liked what I saw and He honesty looked like my first boyfriend. I went to him, asked for his name and told him He looked familiar then I complimented his dimples. After all these, I walked away. By the way, it all happened in less than a minute. The truth is, I felt a strong pull, which can also be regarded as a harmless but dominating force to this guy. I didnt know what it meant but being the spontaneous person that I am, I acted without giving it a deep thought. (Most sanguine individuals tend to act now and think later, this works in our favor at times and we get hurt at other times.)
The interesting thing is that, after I walked away, He walked up to me and asked for my name and before you could say Jack Robinson, We had started talking. He is one of those guys that are so introverted and enjoy being confined to their safe harbor, so that means I did most of the talking. I later found out that He was used to having ladies ask him out and so this had made him arrogant and dismissive in a subtle and indirect way.
In as much as I would love to wish I never walked up to him, I am happy I did. Although I have always had to suffer the constant jab and undertone of him reminding me that we are just friends and nothing more. The ironic twist of it is that He confessed to being really attracted to me and He had even considered the notion of being romantically involved with me. However, He had prayed about it and according to him, the answer from God was negative. In addition to his introverted lifestyle, He is also a spirikoko(highly religious person).
Funny enough, we always annoy each other at every turn and I get to suffer more from his snide comments but somehow, We never get to fight and stay away for up to 24 hours. Initially, I also entertained the thought of being his woman but I was not going to push for it, I was going to enjoy whatever we had while it lasted. I had also gotten fed up of the reminder that I am just a friend and nothing more that the thought of going further than being a friend had gotten repulsive.
I gave him a piece of my mind when I had gotten to my limit of his jabs and that was when I found out his supposed battle between his feelings and spirituality. If not that I know myself in God, I would have almost thought I was not good enough and God had saved him from having a terrible wife. I had always been practical about the whole thing and was enjoying our friendship while it lasted and I learnt that its better to know where you stand and don't try to go further than that, most especially when the other party does not intend to take your relationship a nudge further.
I have decided to reduce every form of closeness with him so as to help him get over whatever dilema he put himself in. Coupled with the fact that our closeness is chasing other candidates away from us and being who I am, I want to have my own man not just a best friend. Its been just a few weeks but its been emotionally demanding so please,if you meet someone and you want to go a step further than being friends, Please talk about it ASAP. Stop the drama and the facade of non challance. It only worsens things.
I think I have said enough for now. He who has ears and a practical mind, let him hear and reason with a clear head, not get trapped in a web of emotions and confusion. Till our next chat, have a splendid life. Lest I forget, Happy birthday to my cousin, friend and everyone born today!!!!
xoxo
Jemima
Friday 21 February 2014
Being Consciously alert of the Grave
Its my friend's birthday today and it would also have been my grand father's birthday, had He been alive. My consolation is that He lived a good life and if I am to judge by his way of life, I believe He must be in Heaven. My friend's birthday and grandpa's death enlightened me and opened my eyes to a world of reality. "THE MORE DAYS WE SEE, THE CLOSER WE ARE TO OUR GRAVE"
This raises very vital questions of:
1) How much have you influenced your enviroment? Are you a blessing, a curse or a confused element in your generation.
2) If you die someday, are you certain of being in Heavenly places and be felt by the world or are you just another contribution to the earth, trees and grasses .......Asa's words "slightly altered"
There are some people who we can without ambiguity, testify that they impacted their enviroment. People like "Martin Luther King JNR, Nelson Mandela, The fallen heroes (soldiers of war), M.K.O Abiola, Fela Anikulapo Kuti etc.
The message of impacting our enviroment is easier preached than practiced. I wish to impact my enviroment. However, I don't seem to have enough resources, so does a lot of people. The fear of the unknown is also a factor. Interestingly, this is where the question of bravery comes in. If I am asked, I will say that bravery does not necessarily mean going into a den of lions per say. It can also mean standing for what is right when everyone has developed a cullture of what is not.
Civilisation is getting more pronounced by the day while new technological devices and inventions are coming into view. Sadly, the people seem to be getting more unwise and having a lack of ability to discern and prioritise on what matters and what does not. The mediums which would have been used to make a great positive change in our world are ironically the instruments used to destroy the world subtly.
Sexual perversion has become the order of the day and we seldom come accross insirational pieces of information. Rather, we spend our most valuable asset (OUR TIME) meddling with irrelevant things and indulging in unprofitable acts. I am also guilty of these acts. I find myself struggling with inspirational pieces and subconsciously spend my time on irrelevant and unproductive things. Thank God for wisdom and his grace upon our lives, I can say that maturity is setting in gradually and some silly things are being dropped along the way.
Life is a journey, No one knows when it will end ..... Life is also a market, We all come in to trade and leave. No one stays in the market forever.
It is important to know that, one's influence could either be positive or negative. Every little act counts. A drop makes an ocean. Every act of negligence on our part builds up to become an ocean of disarray which eventually drowns the innocent people.
Be a positive influence in your family, society and enviroment at large. So that your life can be regarded as a life well spent. It is also an investment in your future. The good works of a man, follows him and even flows to his decendants. How wonderful is the thought of you being the reason why your great grandchildren are stil given jobs and contracts in places of authority? I think I love the thought.
I hope I piqued your interest and inspired you in a minute way at the least. Till our next write up, have a splendid life.
xoxo
Jaymaimah
This raises very vital questions of:
1) How much have you influenced your enviroment? Are you a blessing, a curse or a confused element in your generation.
2) If you die someday, are you certain of being in Heavenly places and be felt by the world or are you just another contribution to the earth, trees and grasses .......Asa's words "slightly altered"
There are some people who we can without ambiguity, testify that they impacted their enviroment. People like "Martin Luther King JNR, Nelson Mandela, The fallen heroes (soldiers of war), M.K.O Abiola, Fela Anikulapo Kuti etc.
The message of impacting our enviroment is easier preached than practiced. I wish to impact my enviroment. However, I don't seem to have enough resources, so does a lot of people. The fear of the unknown is also a factor. Interestingly, this is where the question of bravery comes in. If I am asked, I will say that bravery does not necessarily mean going into a den of lions per say. It can also mean standing for what is right when everyone has developed a cullture of what is not.
Civilisation is getting more pronounced by the day while new technological devices and inventions are coming into view. Sadly, the people seem to be getting more unwise and having a lack of ability to discern and prioritise on what matters and what does not. The mediums which would have been used to make a great positive change in our world are ironically the instruments used to destroy the world subtly.
Sexual perversion has become the order of the day and we seldom come accross insirational pieces of information. Rather, we spend our most valuable asset (OUR TIME) meddling with irrelevant things and indulging in unprofitable acts. I am also guilty of these acts. I find myself struggling with inspirational pieces and subconsciously spend my time on irrelevant and unproductive things. Thank God for wisdom and his grace upon our lives, I can say that maturity is setting in gradually and some silly things are being dropped along the way.
Life is a journey, No one knows when it will end ..... Life is also a market, We all come in to trade and leave. No one stays in the market forever.
It is important to know that, one's influence could either be positive or negative. Every little act counts. A drop makes an ocean. Every act of negligence on our part builds up to become an ocean of disarray which eventually drowns the innocent people.
Be a positive influence in your family, society and enviroment at large. So that your life can be regarded as a life well spent. It is also an investment in your future. The good works of a man, follows him and even flows to his decendants. How wonderful is the thought of you being the reason why your great grandchildren are stil given jobs and contracts in places of authority? I think I love the thought.
I hope I piqued your interest and inspired you in a minute way at the least. Till our next write up, have a splendid life.
xoxo
Jaymaimah
Monday 17 February 2014
Romance in the same Organisation
Since time immemorial, there has always been conflicting ideologies relating to if romance in the same environment should be accepted or shunned. However its important that we note the merits and demerits of both schools of thought.
For the school of thought that supports the same zone romance, the driving or attracting force behind it are as follows:
* Seeing the person a lot and the easy access to stolen intimacies like cuddles, kisses and intimate spanks or fondling in coded corners or opportune spots.
* Being able to confide in such person at the quickest time possible.
*Hanging out after work without the worry of how to hook up.
* Easy monitoring of each others movement (I honestly am not cool with this but the possessive ones will be)
* Marriage, if Heaven, Pregnancy or luck shines on you.
Be that as it may, there are some major DEMERITS which are as follows:
* Constant distraction
* Excessive encroachment on each others privacy and territory which mostly leads to what can be regarded as " The law of see finish"
* Fights resulting from jealousy and wild thoughts running through ones mind when the other party is gisting and getting too relaxed or friendly with a colleague or neighbour who happens to be the opposite sex.
* Partiality and elements of bias in dealing with the romance partner as opposed to others.
* The presence of a tense atmosphere when fights and disagreements occur hence causing a friction in each others part and probably spoiling each others mood for the day.
From experience, I don't think its the best, if you do not intend to be serious or committed to it. Flings are better off from a distance. No strings attached and no holds barred. During one of my internship program, I remember having a mad crush on this senior colleague, thank God I never pursued it, a part of me just knew it was not good for me, particularly after I could fully sense that He was only going to get me laid and nothing more. Guess what? He is getting married to another colleague in that same organisation. Am so happy for him and I am happier that I did not gulk myself and give in to a mere physical attraction that would have affected my pride terribly. Regardless of me being a self controlled and emotionally stable lady, I have my short comings and my mumu button. Even the strongest man in the bible (Samson) had his mumu switch controlled by Delilah.
There is also the need for privacy. In as much as I give you a sizeable gist about my experience, I make sure to structure my words, so as to avoid any form of scandal. Be rest assured, that all my gists are true and factual. I cant imagine having to run things with someone I am likely to see for a very long time or has a link with my zone. News travel fast and they are likely to be restructured so as to make the gist sweet. Its easier to deal with your mess up, when its just you or a few people in the know, than when the whole hood knows your dirty little secrets.
I do not expect you to agree fully with me, thats why I look forward to your comments. Please remember, we can bare our minds without being insultive or disrespectful about it. Till our next talk, have a splendid life.
xoxo
Jemima
For the school of thought that supports the same zone romance, the driving or attracting force behind it are as follows:
* Seeing the person a lot and the easy access to stolen intimacies like cuddles, kisses and intimate spanks or fondling in coded corners or opportune spots.
* Being able to confide in such person at the quickest time possible.
*Hanging out after work without the worry of how to hook up.
* Easy monitoring of each others movement (I honestly am not cool with this but the possessive ones will be)
* Marriage, if Heaven, Pregnancy or luck shines on you.
Be that as it may, there are some major DEMERITS which are as follows:
* Constant distraction
* Excessive encroachment on each others privacy and territory which mostly leads to what can be regarded as " The law of see finish"
* Fights resulting from jealousy and wild thoughts running through ones mind when the other party is gisting and getting too relaxed or friendly with a colleague or neighbour who happens to be the opposite sex.
* Partiality and elements of bias in dealing with the romance partner as opposed to others.
* The presence of a tense atmosphere when fights and disagreements occur hence causing a friction in each others part and probably spoiling each others mood for the day.
From experience, I don't think its the best, if you do not intend to be serious or committed to it. Flings are better off from a distance. No strings attached and no holds barred. During one of my internship program, I remember having a mad crush on this senior colleague, thank God I never pursued it, a part of me just knew it was not good for me, particularly after I could fully sense that He was only going to get me laid and nothing more. Guess what? He is getting married to another colleague in that same organisation. Am so happy for him and I am happier that I did not gulk myself and give in to a mere physical attraction that would have affected my pride terribly. Regardless of me being a self controlled and emotionally stable lady, I have my short comings and my mumu button. Even the strongest man in the bible (Samson) had his mumu switch controlled by Delilah.
There is also the need for privacy. In as much as I give you a sizeable gist about my experience, I make sure to structure my words, so as to avoid any form of scandal. Be rest assured, that all my gists are true and factual. I cant imagine having to run things with someone I am likely to see for a very long time or has a link with my zone. News travel fast and they are likely to be restructured so as to make the gist sweet. Its easier to deal with your mess up, when its just you or a few people in the know, than when the whole hood knows your dirty little secrets.
I do not expect you to agree fully with me, thats why I look forward to your comments. Please remember, we can bare our minds without being insultive or disrespectful about it. Till our next talk, have a splendid life.
xoxo
Jemima
MY BATTLE BETWEEN MATURITY AND BEING A MAN SNATCHER
Sometimes, it amazes me of how much i have grown to be what I am today, I have been blessed to experience very important and significant situations that can either make you or break you.
This has ranged from moving up and down the ladder of comfort and poverty, peer pressure, emotional games and having a relationship with God. Presently, am in between a web where this guy who is engaged, is contemplating running things with me at the expense of his soon to be marriage.
Ofcourse, i won't allow him miss out on the goodies, marriage has to offer him. Not after all that I have been gisted by my friend that his woman is such a sweetheart. Ahmean, I am a lady that has a conscience. Before I get carried away, let me take you to where it all began.
On this fateful day, I slept over at my girlfriend's house with the intention of spending the weekend and this dude happens to be her flat mate. On getting into the compound and seeing him by the gate man's house, the first thing that registered on me was his look. He is not the show stopping type but at least he was easy on the eye. Amusingly, my girlfriend and the guy were not talking, so it seemed weird anytime we jammed and I greeted him, with him responding warmly while at the same time not sparing my friend a glance, talkless of a second one.
As a Christian who is very proud of having a splendid and growing relationship with God, I knew I had to do do something about the tense atmosphere in that house. They shared the same kitchen for Chrissake, where they not scared of one person putting indo-cid (rat poison) inside each other's food out of share hatred? I had my chance when my friend went out and it was only me in the house with the dude. For the record, I already sensed the physical attraction on his part, it permeated through him to me like the scent of a werewolf to a vampire(winks). It motivated me to seize the moment since He always jumped at every greeting with a hope of more conversation. Luckily, my friend was not coming home any time soon, so I sat him down in the parlor and talked for olympics that night. I suceeded in getting him to talk to me and open up well. He promised to make amends and that was a good start. I spoke to my friend also and She also promised to do the same. As a peace maker, I went to my cute apartment, feeling proud of myself. Unknown to me, I had struck a cord.
The next time I came around, the atmosphere was serene, they had been able to overcome whatever reservations they had for each other. The dude and I became really good chat pals. My girlfriend was amazed at how fast we clicked, She had lived with him for a while and she incessantly reminded me of how She had never seen him come out of his tightly fenced world. He is a first class introvert. She was happy for him, so also where the few people who knew him. They liked this friendly and playful part of him more. What they did not know is that, this dude had already started confusing mere physical attraction and play chemistry with something deep. I remember him asking me if I would stand by him if he made any rash decision. As a sharp babe, I knew what was in his head, I had been there before and done that. If my memory serves me well, it wasnt good for me. I got hurt since I got carried away somewhere in the game. This was not going to happen again, once beaten, 72 million times sharp.
I have noticed that he never likes to talk about his woman and I respected that, However, I made my findings on the basic thing and I came to the conclusion that it was not fair on the lady. I currently don't have any serious relationship and for some weird reason, I have not been able to keep any for as long as 3 months. I even spent this last Vals with this same girlfriend. She is engaged so don't think I was flexing with a fellow bobo less babe. I seem to be in a phase where am being hit by my singleness but luckily for me, there is a stronger force pushing me and occupying my mind (MONEY). I have got money on my mind and so the determination to become wealthy in a legit manner fuels my husstle more than the realisation that i dont have my own man. Its not like i do not have fans, every girl has a toaster, whether its for a good reason or not.
I gisted another friend about the whole eesh and She happens to be a hopeless romantic so she is asking me to relax and go with the flow. She said " How are you not sure God sent you to come and save this guy". As for me, I won't be the reason for another woman's unhappiness. I am single not desperate. I have parked my things and left the babe's house today ooo. I don't want to form James Bond and complicate issues. If He wants to leave his woman, it must not be because of me. Thank God he does not have my number or know where I live. Am sure whatever attraction I had had was out of sheer admiration and not with the intention of getting deep with him, However, I am human. Every lady wants a man to call her own and since I happen to be unattached at the moment, I might just start to mistake loneliness and a temporary companionship for something else, hence complicating matters for all involved.
I am open to your opinions and comments, Please bare your minds on this issue, it might just help me or someone in a similar positon but abeg, no insults, We can all communicate our minds maturely. I will be more frequent on my blog, to enable us relate well. I honestly need to even pimp my page up sef. Till our next gist, have a splendid life.
xoxo
Jemima
This has ranged from moving up and down the ladder of comfort and poverty, peer pressure, emotional games and having a relationship with God. Presently, am in between a web where this guy who is engaged, is contemplating running things with me at the expense of his soon to be marriage.
Ofcourse, i won't allow him miss out on the goodies, marriage has to offer him. Not after all that I have been gisted by my friend that his woman is such a sweetheart. Ahmean, I am a lady that has a conscience. Before I get carried away, let me take you to where it all began.
On this fateful day, I slept over at my girlfriend's house with the intention of spending the weekend and this dude happens to be her flat mate. On getting into the compound and seeing him by the gate man's house, the first thing that registered on me was his look. He is not the show stopping type but at least he was easy on the eye. Amusingly, my girlfriend and the guy were not talking, so it seemed weird anytime we jammed and I greeted him, with him responding warmly while at the same time not sparing my friend a glance, talkless of a second one.
As a Christian who is very proud of having a splendid and growing relationship with God, I knew I had to do do something about the tense atmosphere in that house. They shared the same kitchen for Chrissake, where they not scared of one person putting indo-cid (rat poison) inside each other's food out of share hatred? I had my chance when my friend went out and it was only me in the house with the dude. For the record, I already sensed the physical attraction on his part, it permeated through him to me like the scent of a werewolf to a vampire(winks). It motivated me to seize the moment since He always jumped at every greeting with a hope of more conversation. Luckily, my friend was not coming home any time soon, so I sat him down in the parlor and talked for olympics that night. I suceeded in getting him to talk to me and open up well. He promised to make amends and that was a good start. I spoke to my friend also and She also promised to do the same. As a peace maker, I went to my cute apartment, feeling proud of myself. Unknown to me, I had struck a cord.
The next time I came around, the atmosphere was serene, they had been able to overcome whatever reservations they had for each other. The dude and I became really good chat pals. My girlfriend was amazed at how fast we clicked, She had lived with him for a while and she incessantly reminded me of how She had never seen him come out of his tightly fenced world. He is a first class introvert. She was happy for him, so also where the few people who knew him. They liked this friendly and playful part of him more. What they did not know is that, this dude had already started confusing mere physical attraction and play chemistry with something deep. I remember him asking me if I would stand by him if he made any rash decision. As a sharp babe, I knew what was in his head, I had been there before and done that. If my memory serves me well, it wasnt good for me. I got hurt since I got carried away somewhere in the game. This was not going to happen again, once beaten, 72 million times sharp.
I have noticed that he never likes to talk about his woman and I respected that, However, I made my findings on the basic thing and I came to the conclusion that it was not fair on the lady. I currently don't have any serious relationship and for some weird reason, I have not been able to keep any for as long as 3 months. I even spent this last Vals with this same girlfriend. She is engaged so don't think I was flexing with a fellow bobo less babe. I seem to be in a phase where am being hit by my singleness but luckily for me, there is a stronger force pushing me and occupying my mind (MONEY). I have got money on my mind and so the determination to become wealthy in a legit manner fuels my husstle more than the realisation that i dont have my own man. Its not like i do not have fans, every girl has a toaster, whether its for a good reason or not.
I gisted another friend about the whole eesh and She happens to be a hopeless romantic so she is asking me to relax and go with the flow. She said " How are you not sure God sent you to come and save this guy". As for me, I won't be the reason for another woman's unhappiness. I am single not desperate. I have parked my things and left the babe's house today ooo. I don't want to form James Bond and complicate issues. If He wants to leave his woman, it must not be because of me. Thank God he does not have my number or know where I live. Am sure whatever attraction I had had was out of sheer admiration and not with the intention of getting deep with him, However, I am human. Every lady wants a man to call her own and since I happen to be unattached at the moment, I might just start to mistake loneliness and a temporary companionship for something else, hence complicating matters for all involved.
I am open to your opinions and comments, Please bare your minds on this issue, it might just help me or someone in a similar positon but abeg, no insults, We can all communicate our minds maturely. I will be more frequent on my blog, to enable us relate well. I honestly need to even pimp my page up sef. Till our next gist, have a splendid life.
xoxo
Jemima
Monday 25 February 2013
Being your husband's girlfriend
Dear Beloved Wife,
Being Your Husband’s Girlfriend
The mistake most wives make is that they relax and let their guards down all in the name of them being the WIFE and the woman in the house. Take it or leave it, the reason why your husband genuinely proposed to you is because he appreciated what he saw when you were still his GIRLFRIEND. The nice, sexy, classy, caring, fun loving, beautiful you. Don’t get me all wrong, you are still beautiful but the only problem here is that you have gotten too comfortable with title of a wife. By virtue of marriage, you are his wife but every man will rather relating with you as the same girlfriend he married than the newly emerged wife you have turned yourself into through your actions. The following acts turn you from being his girlfriend which he appreciated and married, to his wife who now happens to be DULLING:
· Giving the children more priority
· Dressing to kill the mood of intimacy
· Inability to induce or create fun
· Forgetting he is the BOSS and you are his P.A
· Being a dustbin instead of a recycle machine
· Being physically unfit
GIVING THE CHILDREN MORE PRIORITY
The children came as a result of the love you made; this can never change the truth that your husband is your FIRSTBORN. It takes TWO to make a baby, be it through sex or insemination. Since we are discussing in line with your marriage, I definitely mean through sexual intercourse. The children are a JOINT PROJECT that must be handled by the PARENTS, not PARENT or PERSON. This simply means that you can not train kids alone hereby neglecting your husband, hereby making him find SOLACE elsewhere. The heart is big enough to accommodate everyone, so do not shut him out. Give your husband his part and always have it at the back of your mind that before the kids, it was just the two of you. When the kids grow and live their lives, it will remain you both and that takes you back to SQUARE ONE.
DRESSING TO KILL THE MOOD OF INTIMACY
Why on earth should you dress in BUBA and WRAPPER in the house when civilization has brought about cloths like halter neck tops, spaghetti tops, boob tubes, bum shorts, mini skirts and all kind of skimpy cloths? The only time you are permitted to wear a bubbas, wrapper or kaftans (big gowns) is when your mother in law or any old school person is around. If they happen to be current, a nice simple gown won’t hurt. Men are controlled by what they see. Look nice and decent when you are in public but when you are in the house; go sexy all the way with no form of hesitation. Baggy/ Shapeless clothes and wrapper tying is the number one romantic mood / atmosphere killer in marriage. You are his woman, there is no need to act all VIRGINAL with him. There is no crime or fault in being your husband’s whore.
FORGETTING HE IS THE BOSS AND YOU ARE HIS P. A
Every wife is to be submissive to her husband. This does not make you a dummy; it makes you a virtuous woman. Couples can never agree on everything, that is what makes you human. When such a situation arises, let him have the last say at the moment, when he is calmer, plead your case in a subtle and respectful manner. If that does not work, try arriving at a fair compromise that will suit both parties. Do not try forcing your points on him; he has a right to his points.
INABILITY TO INDUCE OR CREATE FUN
After a while, wives tend to be less fun, over serious, irrational, sulky and nags. This does not help. Has it ever occurred to you to take your husband out on a date? Even if you are a career woman and you happen to be very busy, you must create time. The following are few things you can do alone with your husband to create fun:
· Take him to a nice restaurant and foot the bill
· Go watch a movie or bring the cinema to the house.
· Go swimming, the gym or the beach together
· Learn to give massages, manicure and pedicure and do them regularly for him, you can as well persuade him to reciprocate.
· Make your bedroom a haven of romance and not just a room you sleep in. Decorate it beautifully; colored lights go a long way in creating a nice atmosphere.
· Learn to do things he enjoys doing, it won’t be a bad idea if you join him and persuade him to do what you love also. The fact that you learnt to do it will please him. Even if you are pathetic at it, he will not mind helping you perfect the skills.
· Be creative and do things that will blow his mind
BEING A DUSTBIN INSTEAD OF A RECYCLE MACHINE
It is high time you start helping in the house and not just be a professional dustbin that only collects but never gives back in return. Buy nice things no matter how small for your husband on a regular basis; do not wait till Valentine’s Day. Help in getting things for the house. If you are a full house wife, it is high time you get busy and start making your own money no matter how small. A married woman with no money to call her own by her sweat holds little or no value.
BEING PHYSICALLY UNFIT
Stay fit. No man wants a lazy, unfit and stiff woman. Fitness helps you live long and it also goes a long way in your marriage. A woman who is not fit is no fun and complicates the marriage unnecessarily.
Monday 27 February 2012
Should You Die For Love?
This is a question that is frequently asked by the majority. Many people will say no but you can be rest assured that some will definitely say yes.If I am to rephrase the question,it will be"Who can you die for?" Some will say they can die for their lovers, family, best friends.Let us take these views one after the other:
Lovers: Why on earth should you die for a lover? In case you haven't heard, if you as a woman/lady die because of a man or all in the name of love, many men will pass by your grave side and the guy will even eventually hook up with another lady sef. This also applies to men.However, it will be adviseable for you to stay alive and then share this precious love you have with your partner than die and let another person take your place.The best that can happen is that your memory will be kept and cherised.
Best Friends; The truth is that some best friends happen to be closer to us than even our siblings and so we feel like we are of the same blood.I still feel you should stay alive for your friend than allow just your memory get all the reverence.
Family : Initially, i used to feel any life sacrificed for a family member is worth it until I discovered from my Bible that JESUS has died for everyone and has even risen. This simply means that no one needs to die for anybody anymore.If you are in so much pain, trial, sorrow, agony. confusion, distress, call on God and you can be certain that he will answer you.His love is sufficient for us and so we can stay alive and appreciate this great gift.
In the case of lovers, its jealousy, possessiveness, desperacy, inferiority complex many unsafe habits that makes people believe that they cant do without a person and so they would rather die than loose such person. Believe in yourself and in the love of God that surpasses all other kind of love. You will find yourself enjoying life at its fullest with no worries.
XOXO
JAYMAIMAH
Lovers: Why on earth should you die for a lover? In case you haven't heard, if you as a woman/lady die because of a man or all in the name of love, many men will pass by your grave side and the guy will even eventually hook up with another lady sef. This also applies to men.However, it will be adviseable for you to stay alive and then share this precious love you have with your partner than die and let another person take your place.The best that can happen is that your memory will be kept and cherised.
Best Friends; The truth is that some best friends happen to be closer to us than even our siblings and so we feel like we are of the same blood.I still feel you should stay alive for your friend than allow just your memory get all the reverence.
Family : Initially, i used to feel any life sacrificed for a family member is worth it until I discovered from my Bible that JESUS has died for everyone and has even risen. This simply means that no one needs to die for anybody anymore.If you are in so much pain, trial, sorrow, agony. confusion, distress, call on God and you can be certain that he will answer you.His love is sufficient for us and so we can stay alive and appreciate this great gift.
In the case of lovers, its jealousy, possessiveness, desperacy, inferiority complex many unsafe habits that makes people believe that they cant do without a person and so they would rather die than loose such person. Believe in yourself and in the love of God that surpasses all other kind of love. You will find yourself enjoying life at its fullest with no worries.
XOXO
JAYMAIMAH
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