Its amazing how I find it comfortable to share my story on a blog, rather than to a person. Maybe its because I know that the likelihood of anyone reading my blog is slim. Afterall, We have the popular bloggers who constantly feed us with either gossips or gist worthy news. I hail them, I honestly don't have the time and gossip is not my calling. I am a lawyer by profession, alongside having my events outlet and running my non governmental organisation. I have justice on my mind and events to plan.
There is this guy whom I walked up to some weeks back. I liked what I saw and He honesty looked like my first boyfriend. I went to him, asked for his name and told him He looked familiar then I complimented his dimples. After all these, I walked away. By the way, it all happened in less than a minute. The truth is, I felt a strong pull, which can also be regarded as a harmless but dominating force to this guy. I didnt know what it meant but being the spontaneous person that I am, I acted without giving it a deep thought. (Most sanguine individuals tend to act now and think later, this works in our favor at times and we get hurt at other times.)
The interesting thing is that, after I walked away, He walked up to me and asked for my name and before you could say Jack Robinson, We had started talking. He is one of those guys that are so introverted and enjoy being confined to their safe harbor, so that means I did most of the talking. I later found out that He was used to having ladies ask him out and so this had made him arrogant and dismissive in a subtle and indirect way.
In as much as I would love to wish I never walked up to him, I am happy I did. Although I have always had to suffer the constant jab and undertone of him reminding me that we are just friends and nothing more. The ironic twist of it is that He confessed to being really attracted to me and He had even considered the notion of being romantically involved with me. However, He had prayed about it and according to him, the answer from God was negative. In addition to his introverted lifestyle, He is also a spirikoko(highly religious person).
Funny enough, we always annoy each other at every turn and I get to suffer more from his snide comments but somehow, We never get to fight and stay away for up to 24 hours. Initially, I also entertained the thought of being his woman but I was not going to push for it, I was going to enjoy whatever we had while it lasted. I had also gotten fed up of the reminder that I am just a friend and nothing more that the thought of going further than being a friend had gotten repulsive.
I gave him a piece of my mind when I had gotten to my limit of his jabs and that was when I found out his supposed battle between his feelings and spirituality. If not that I know myself in God, I would have almost thought I was not good enough and God had saved him from having a terrible wife. I had always been practical about the whole thing and was enjoying our friendship while it lasted and I learnt that its better to know where you stand and don't try to go further than that, most especially when the other party does not intend to take your relationship a nudge further.
I have decided to reduce every form of closeness with him so as to help him get over whatever dilema he put himself in. Coupled with the fact that our closeness is chasing other candidates away from us and being who I am, I want to have my own man not just a best friend. Its been just a few weeks but its been emotionally demanding so please,if you meet someone and you want to go a step further than being friends, Please talk about it ASAP. Stop the drama and the facade of non challance. It only worsens things.
I think I have said enough for now. He who has ears and a practical mind, let him hear and reason with a clear head, not get trapped in a web of emotions and confusion. Till our next chat, have a splendid life. Lest I forget, Happy birthday to my cousin, friend and everyone born today!!!!
xoxo
Jemima
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